Mansion owner in the friendzone
Mansion owner in the friendzone
It seems to be a common phenomenon nowadays – the friendzone. It’s no visual zone that you could just walk into. It’s more like a status. The status of a friend who would love to become romantic, but just can’t get a shot.
I recently asked a friend: “Have you ever been friendzoned?” “I own a mansion in the friendzone.” And as I asked more friends I figured out that everybody has been there already. Sometimes it has been a serious crush and therefor very hurtful and sometimes it has been like: “Ok then, no sex for me.”
But all these friends had one thing in common: they were all male. Are girls never friendzoned? And if yes, why? So again I had to bother some of my friends. None of my female friends has ever been there, but all of them admitted they had put a guy there.
“All girls do this.” Well that’s not an excuse to hurt somebody’s feelings. But is there even one? Maybe women are cruel and like playing with men. I mean, they know exactly what they are doing. Women seem to have a natural sense for knowing they’re being liked. Wouldn’t be that hard for them to step up and say: “Listen, you’re a great person, but I don’t feel for you that way.”
But just like men women like being admired and in some cases the only reason they don’t say anything is because they can’t say no.
“I don’t wanna hurt them by saying no.” One of the girls told me. Ehrm … seriously this way the pain is only growing bigger. First you’re maybe just a pretty face, but as a friend you become a personality. Thousands of aspects to fall in love with. Sure there’s still a chance she falls for your personality, but the longer it takes the more obvious it becomes this will never happen.
But in no war aren’t men realizing they are in the friendzone. They know exactly what status they have with a girl. And if not there are still all the dudes telling him. In several cases the man rather takes all his friend’s jokes and all the caused pain than giving up his hopes. Only because there has never been a clear signal that she is not interested. Besides the point that she’s not dating you.
No girl can ever be that awesome as to run after her over and over again. “Yes, she can!” you say? Dude, you’re so deep in the friendzone.
If she can’t appreciate the person you are she is definitely not the girl you want to be with.
So there is still the possibility that you are only after that girl because you know she doesn’t want you. Hunting a girl – some special sort of entertainment. Ask yourself if you are honestly interested in the girl as a person. If not? Well then stop the hunting! Take the rejection as a man and go your own ways. You are only wasting your time on her and if the unbelievable thing happens that you finally get a shot at hers you couldn’t even call it payback when you break her heart. Let’s be honest you were never truly interested. How bad could she have hurt you? The rejection would only be a little scratch on your pride, but you playing with her will drive her right on into insecurity.
As I was discussing this with my friends I started wondering if this was a new phenomenon, or if we had only found a name for it. I only saw one way to find out: ask the previous generation. My mum, like everybody else, first needed an explanation and then she gave me a meaningful smile. No answer given. But I remembered a story she once told me and I realized – my mother already friendzoned a guy in primary school. Poor little fella. And my grandma? Not any better! She had two guys at the same time in the friendzone and they united and planned to beat up my grandpa when he showed up. My grandma was able to stop them before they reached my grandpa.
Which leads me back to a major question: Why are women even able to put a man into the friendzone? And I don’t mean why they are able to be so cruel. I mean what brings them in the position to do so. I think it’s the fact that men don’t force women to say yes or no. Either way they are afraid to be honest about their feelings, or they know deep inside that she’d say no.
But keep in mind guys maybe the only reason you’re in the friendzone is because she is one of those rare girls who are too blind to see. And in the end it’s men who give women the power to friendzone.
So girls, stop keeping guys in the friendzone. You are not helping or protecting him.
And boys …. Just move out of these mansions. They are not as comfortable as they seem.