Wide awake

The guy standing at the corner of the street felt like falling. He was still standing, but he felt closer to the ground than he had in a while. He looked around the corner again. The couple was still there. He stared through the dark. Yes, that was definitely her. For a moment he wanted to believe that he got all this wrong, that it wasn’t her. Not everything you see is always what it seems. But there was no doubt about it – his girl was with another boy. Now everything was clear to him. How could he read the stars so wrong? Time to wake up! He was dreaming far too long.
He grabbed his chest and bowed his head. His dark curls fell in to his eyes that were still wide opened. He felt as if his heart cracked open as he fell from cloud nine. Gravity got him back, made him crash down from the highest grounds. “I could just pretend I didn’t see anything.” he thought for a moment. No, he couldn’t pretend. It was too late. He knew the story was over. This was the end. “I’m letting go tonight.” He choked on his own words. The darkness got him. Everything now seemed like a lie to him. He wished he had known then what he knew now. He wouldn’t had dived in and bowed down all the time. This whole relationship was just a mess, but she made it so sweet. She made it oh so sweet. “Why did I have to wake up like this?” he asked himself. Shaking his head he tried to clear his head from what he just saw. The couple was still there. Another stroke hit his heart. He turned and ran away. Away from her and that guy, that guy that replaced him. He ran and he ran.
The thunder rumbling above finally made him stop. “Heaven knows how I’m feeling.” he thought with a look into the sky. He turned and let his look wander back to the ground. He had no idea where he was. But it didn’t matter he’d just sit here and wait for the rain to start. Maybe that would wash the pain away. He sat on the ground and wrapped his arms around his knees. His eyes were still wide open, but he couldn’t see anything at all.
“You better hurry to get inside, boy. We’re having a storm soon.” He looked up. An old man was standing in front of him, leaning on his stick. “No, thank you, Sir. I’m fine here.” The old man’s blue, watery eyes raked his own carefully. “Everything ok with you, son?” First he wanted to lie and tell him there was nothing wrong, but there was something about this man that he couldn’t do anything else than being honest. “I just lost my girl.” The old man gave a sigh and made the move to sit right next to him. He had some difficulties to do so and he more or less fell the last inches. “Tell me about her.” The old man commanded. The young man looked at him surprised. Should he really tell a stranger his story? The old man kept looking at him. There was something in his eyes, something sad. These eyes could understand any pain. And he started talking. He told the old man everything. How he met her, what the time with her had been like and finally how she just broke his heart into thousands of pieces. The old man asked questions in between, but didn’t comment on anything. Then he started talking. “When I was just a young man, maybe the same age you are now, I met the most wonderful girl in the world. Smart, passionate and so beautiful. I must have been the proudest man in the world when she took my ring. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with her. But sometimes in life the unbelievable happens. She died way too early.” The old man stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath and gave him a sad smile before he continued. “There I was, broken and alone with our little baby girl. I was so down, thought I’d never be complete or happy again. But then one time my little girl woke up in the middle of the night and caught me crying. She looked at me and asked why I was crying and I told her that I was sad, because I missed her mommy. She said she missed her too, but her mommy told her in her dream that she wants her to smile, because it makes her sad seeing her loved ones cry. And there she stood my beautiful little baby girl, asking me not to make her mommy sad. I knew there were only two ways how to go on with life: Keep on crying and being broken, or fixing myself for my little girl. I knew that if I fail, my little girl and god would at least know I tried. So I picked up every piece of my heart and believe it or not I landed on my feet again. I was born again. I could see the bright side again. I wasn’t blind anymore and I saw that I needed nothing to complete myself. Nothing more than my little girl.” The old man stopped talking again. They both started staring into the darkness without saying anything. The rain started falling, but they didn’t move at all. The young man thought about the old man’s story. But if he really fixed himself, shouldn’t his eyes be less sad? He thought that maybe the sadness comes back at times. “When did you see your daughter last, Sir?” he asked. “She died last month.” he said. “And now help me up, son, so I can start picking up the pieces.”

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Posted on July 16, 2014, in The story behind and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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