Numb

Aiden stood at the edge of the bridge. His hands with a firm grip at the balustrade behind him he leaned forward. Woaaah this was high. He didn’t expect it to be that high. The streaming water under him looked terrifying. “Why am I here again?” he asked himself. “Do I really want to do this?” He leaned back again and took a glance at the surface. So wide. The world seemed peaceful and powerful at the same time. At that moment he knew exactly why he was there – to fight the numbness. “I’ve become so numb.” he thought. Aiden had felt so faithless lately, so lost under the surface. He was tired of being what others wanted him to be. He didn’t even know what they were expecting. The pressure was getting to big. People wanted him to walk in their shoes, but every step that he took seemed to be another mistake to them. He was so fed up with this. He could no longer just sit and be numb. Aiden was too aware that he was becoming a zombie. Just walking around doing what was expected of him, giving up on his dreams. Giving up his own self. He knew he couldn’t keep on watching his life pass by without him being part of it.
He took a deep breath and looked over the edge again. It was still scaring the shit out of him. But the second look convinced him even more that this was the right step to take. He wanted the control of his life back. Especially his parents had smothered him. They were holding so tightly, unaware that they took him his breath. Aiden wasn’t mad at them, cause he knew that they were only afraid of him taking the wrong way. But only his own way would be the right way for him. By taking the control over his life they set him on the wrong way. “They are too blind to see that their way isn’t necessarily the right way.” he thought bitterly. Everything that they thought he would be would be falling apart right in front of them. Aiden knew he’d disappoint them. Not only his parents. But living a numb life would disappoint him a lot more.
“Aiden are you sure you want to do this?” He looked into Marys eyes. She seemed to be seriously worried. “You don’t have to do this. We could just go home. You know, mum and dad are already waiting. They probably don’t think this is a good idea either.”
Aiden smiled at her and faced the precipice again. “All I want to do is be more like me …” he said and added “and be less like you.” in his thoughts. Then he jumped.
When the rope finally caught him he screamed: “I’m alive!”

 

Advertisements

Posted on July 19, 2014, in The story behind and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: