Love the way you lie
“Emma! Open the door!” Ryan screamed while he was banging against the door. His face distorted with rage. “Open the fucking door, Emma. I swear I’m gonna burn this place down if you don’t.” He was still banging against the door. “Emma! Emma! Open the door! Now! I’m gonna break all your bones. Open the fucking door!” The banging got harder and he started kicking the door. This went on till he felt his power fading. With a scream he turned around and walked away. He stopped and tore his short brown hair. He looked back at the door, his eyes softer than before. He walked back, sank to the ground and leaned back at the door. “Emma?!” he said. But it was more of a question this time.
Emma sat at the other side of the door. Her arms around her knees. The eyes wide open. Her lip was bleeding and she could feel her eye bruising. Soon she wouldn’t be able to see through her right eye because of her swollen face. Every beat at the door made her start and when Ryan finally stopped she slumped. Her eyes filled with tears that she couldn’t hold back any longer. Her crying turned into a sobbing. Uncontrollable.
Ryan sat there and listened to the sound of Emma’s crying. With every minute passing he calmed down more and the guilt grew deep inside of him. He couldn’t understand himself. He never had. It was like he was in flight whenever they were fighting. The wrong felt right and later on all there was left was shame. If she only hadn’t provoked him that bad. He had never meant to lay hands on her, but there was something about her that he couldn’t control himself. Their relationship was pure insanity, but when it was going good it was going great. She made him feel awesome. Like Superman. And she was his Lois Lane. But when things turned bad it got awful. They were fighting over nonsense and with each spoken word he got angrier. She brought out the worst of him, woke the demons within him. He had lost control and even forgot about his own strength. He remembered the time he had just met her. He would’ve never thought that he could hurt her.
Emma lay on the ground still shaken by sobs. She thought of the time when all feelings she had about Ryan were good. The time she barely couldn’t breathe when she was with him. The warm fuzzy feeling and the chills he once gave her. Now she sometimes got sick by looking at him.
“Emma, please open the door.” She got a fright from hearing his voice again. She didn’t answer or move. Ryan looked at his hands. The hands that he had thought could never do such a thing. He observed the bite on his hand. He couldn’t even remember her doing that. He had been so lost in the moment that nothing had reached him. The scratches on his arms caught his eye. He stood up to look into the mirror. There were also scratches on his face and neck. What had happened when the rage took over? All he could remember was the venom in her words. She wanted to leave him. Maybe he should’ve just let her go. Maybe it would’ve been best to go separate ways a long time ago.
Emma thought of the promise he gave her the last time. He broke it. She should’ve known. Why didn’t she just leave? He couldn’t have hurt her again. Maybe he wouldn’t have if she only hadn’t said these things. She never meant to say them. She knew he wouldn’t like that and still she did. The last time she had promised herself to control her temper better so she wouldn’t attack him. But then she got mad and he got angry and she started saying these things that made him even angrier. Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.
No, Ryan knew he could never let her go. She belonged to him. He loved her too much to let her go or walk away. He’d do anything to keep her.
“Baby, please open the door. I’m sorry! I swear this will never happen again. I’ll learn to control myself. I know it’s all my fault and I’m sorry. I hate myself for hurting you. Please baby, open the door so you can look into my eyes to see how sincere I am. I swear this will never happen again if you just give me one more chance.” Emma listened up. “Baby I’m tired of us fighting. No more games. I’ll be a better man. For you! Baby I just need one more chance.”
She knew he was lying. He had promised her so often he’d change. She had heard so many lies. So many broken promises.
“I love you, Emma.” Ryan said.
“I love the way you lie.” she thought and opened the door.
There’s always a way out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
(International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies )
(The National Domestic Violence Hotline/USA)
(The Domestice Abuse Helpline for men and women)