I can’t stand the rain
Larissa’s eyes followed a raindrop that was running down the window pane. Another one. More and more. Some were racing. The rain became heavier and Larissa gave a sigh. She used to love the rain, but now she couldn’t stand it. The rain played drums on the window pane and every drumbeat seemed like mocking to her. The rain was mocking her. That was Mother Nature’s way of laughing into her face. Every drumbeat reminded her that he wasn’t here with her. The rain against her window brought back sweet memories. Bitter sweet memories. Sweet because it was such a wonderful time and bitter because it would never be like that again.
The rainy days had been by far the most beautiful time she have had the last three years. She had snuggled up in one of Marcus’ pullovers and he had held her in his arms. They had just been staring out the window and had listened to the sound of the rain. Sometimes they had been betting on the racing raindrops. The winner never got anything, but it had been fun anyways.
Marcus used to say that he loved the rain because the world seemed so different afterwards. As if the rain washed everything bad away. There had been a time when she knew exactly what he meant. Now the only thing that seemed different to her was the rain itself. It was by far lonelier and no longer fun. All there was left was the mocking.
Instead of enjoying the moment she tormented herself with the memories. She tormented herself with the thought that he wasn’t there. How much she wished it was different. How much she wished that Marcus was holding her and whispering into her ear. The rainy days were the days she had felt closest to him. They had shared secrets. Marcus had told her about his dreams. He had planned a future for them. He had told her about the beautiful children they would have. That he wanted his little girls to look exactly like their mommy. How he’d frighten away every boy that would come to close to his little girls. How he’d teach them everything he knew. And the house in the green, where they could sit and listen to the rain for the rest of their lives. The house that would have enough space for a big family.
That was all gone. The great time they’ve had was gone. Just like Marcus. They parted and Larissa was alone. Staring out the window and listening to the sound that she could no longer stand. The steady, bothering drumbeat that hit her heart. The one thing that she could no longer stand – the rain against her window.