Long time no talk

„Hey everybody, we weren’t talking for a while. Hope you’re all good.” Annie knew that I was good. We had only talked the day before. But I answered her anyway. “Hey, yeah I’m good. How about the rest of you?” There had been an unusual silence between the four of us. I had only talked to Annie and between the lines I could read that she was worried. Worried that I was mad at Haley. That I refused to talk to her. Well I didn’t. But I also didn’t know what to tell her. I had the feeling that she was avoiding me. That could be wrong though.
There was no answer yet. Jen was probably busy. She usually was around this time. And Haley? I couldn’t tell. Maybe my feeling was not that bad after all. But what could I do about it? Say sorry? What for? Being unqualified of giving relationship advices? Well in her eyes …
Annie was for sure waiting for an answer from Haley’s side as well. Hoping that we’d break the silence.
To my surprise Jen answered a few minutes later. “Hey girls! I’m great. What are you up to? And where is Haley?” “I’m just having a break from writing. What about you? And I don’t have a clue. I thought she would be around.” “I just had my last patient. Am on my way home now. I thought the same. Maybe she’s just busy.” Or she was ignoring us. Most likely Jen was thinking so. “Oh you finished early today. That’s great!” “Hm yeah, but there’s work waiting for me at home. Need to go through some patient files. It’s rather annoying work.” “How long will it take you?” “Pretty much all evening and then there will still be work left for tomorrow. I’m always pushing the paperwork aside, till I can no longer ignore it.” “What kind of paperwork is it?” “Transferring my notes into the files and updating them. Totally boring.” I laughed. “That’s what it sounds like.” “So what were you writing on? I bet it’s a lot more interesting than my work?” “Just some article. Not very interesting I’m afraid. But I can send it to you all the same, if you want me to.” “Oh yes please. I enjoy reading your articles no matter what they’re about.” “Even if it was about watching the grass grow?” I asked her. That made her laugh. “I bet it would be a masterpiece.” “I’ll write something about it and you judge.” “Can’t wait for that. Hey where is Annie gone? I mean she started this conversation and now she’s gone.” “I’m not surprised. That’s just her way.” “You’re right I shouldn’t have been surprised either.”
“I’m still around girls! I’m at the airport and I was just checking in. Now I’ve got some free time till the boarding.” said Annie all of a sudden. Always a reply when you think she’s not around. It was as if she was there all the time, but chose her moments of reply by some weird criteria. Whatever her criteria were I hadn’t found out yet. “You’re at the airport? Where are you going?” I asked her. Actually it was no big surprise she was at the airport. She spent more time on planes than she did in her own home. Pilots and stewardesses must be treating her like an old friend. “I’m on my way to Germany.” she answered. “Oh what are you doing there? Are you gonna go and see a match?” Jen asked her. “I hope I’ll find some time for that. But well work is waiting for me. And of course my little Adeline.” “Are you picking her up?” I asked her. “Yes I am. And it’s about time she spent the longest time with David.” “Did David make any problems?” asked Jen. I had asked myself the same question and was already expecting the answer yes. “No for a change he didn’t make any problems. Well so far. We’ll see what happens when I’m there. I just hate the fact that I always have to expect problems with him. As if I wouldn’t have other things to worry about. But well Adeline needs her father in her life and therefor I have to deal with him.”


Hold back the river

George was sad to see her like this. He had never liked to see her cry. It hurt him. She wasn’t sobbing. Silent tears fell from her eyes. Beautiful and sad at the same time. But she had always been beautiful. No matter what. “My beautiful June, please don’t cry.” he thought. But there was nothing he could do. She was crying and it was his fault. He never meant to, but in the end she was crying all the same. When he had first met her he had sworn to himself to never make her cry. But how could he have kept her from crying in the end? He had no control over this. If it was in his hand there would be no need for her to cry. I would change places with her to keep her from her broken heart. But would that change anything at all? They’d still be separated. And his heart was just as broken.
If only he could tell her. She’d feel better. She’d know. And knowing was better than this. “Don’t cry little June. There is no need to.” he thought. “Just remember the good times.”
And good times they’ve had. Days with laughter and happiness. And most of all love. He had never felt as loved as with June. She was a part of him. The most beautiful part of him. Now that he was without her he felt incomplete. George wondered whether she felt the same. If this was the reason she was crying. It must have been.
He could no longer watch her crying. It was too much. It was too hard. He should be comforting her. He should hold her in his arms. But he couldn’t. He tried to picture her smiling. It was hard, but not impossible. Her smile had cheered him all his life. A wonderful smile. So full of life and light. It had been her smile he had first fallen in love with. She had only been nineteen. He had been twenty-one. She had worked in her father’s shop. And after he had first been there he had used every excuse for a visit. She had welcomed him with this beautiful smile every time he entered the shop. But it took him a long time to become brave enough to ask her out. “We would’ve had more time, if I was braver.” George thought sadly. It was ridiculous. He knew that. But more time was more time, no matter how less it seemed compared to the time they’ve had.
June was still crying her silent tears. “I’m here beloved June. I’m with you.” George said aloud. June looked up. Did she hear him? George was surprised. He didn’t think that was possible. How could she hear him? “George?” she asked. “Yes June, it’s me.” he said. He was nearly screaming. He started laughing excitedly. Sunlight fell on June’s face. She closed her eyes. “Now smile, June. Give me your most beautiful smile.” he said. And as she opened her eyes she did as he bid.
He stretched out his hand to reach her. The wind stroked her once auburn hair the way he had used to. “I’m waiting for you my beautiful June. Till then live.” he said.


She wiped away the tears in her eyes and let the wind dry her cheeks. Why was she even crying? She couldn’t tell. It was the winds fault she told herself and laughed about her denial. Lying to yourself is not that easy after all.
She kept moving. The wind had turned and pushed her forward now. It blew her away. Away and away. Where to? That was another thing she couldn’t tell. She knew where she was coming from and she had an idea of why she didn’t want to be there anymore. An idea what kept her moving.
She was moving for hours already. Her feet had grown tired a while ago, but she hadn’t stopped once. She didn’t exactly know where she was, but she couldn’t care less. If she wanted to she would find the way back home. Home… The word seemed queer. Even in her thoughts. Things had changed. She had changed. And the place she once had thought she’d always call her home had turned into a place she felt strange to be in. She was welcome there. She always would be. But she didn’t belong there. She no longer belonged there. Could the others feel it to? It seemed so evident. Sometimes she thought she never truly belonged there. That she never truly was a part of them. Then she had to remind herself that this was nonsense. She was a part of them. The weird part, but a part. And if she didn’t belong with them who did she belong to? I will never find out if I don’t go she told herself.
So well protected she had been. But nobody could protect her from this. These feelings. Things change. And everybody changes. They should know.
Sometimes she thought they didn’t know. They never knew she changed. Or they just ignored it. They couldn’t accept. Stubbornly they pretended she was the same. But she wasn’t and they were just shutting their eyes. It was dragging her down. It made her sad. Why couldn’t they just accept? Accept and support? She could be a better her, if they weren’t holding her back. She knew she could. Nothing was more clear to her. But she seemed to be the only one. That should be enough though. But she wanted them to believe too. She knew that they had always had big hopes in her. They had plans. But she had shattered them and now they didn’t know what to do with her. Have new hopes? Give up? It felt like they wanted to believe, but couldn’t. Supportive, but not supportive at the same time. She was going mad about it. She never know what to feel around them. And too often it became shame and guilt. And the worst of all was that she knew there was no reason to.
She had changed, but the life around her hadn’t. It wasn’t just them holding her back, it was the place. So she kept walking. Walking without knowing where to. But it felt better to keep moving.
She reached the end of a path. There was nowhere to go. A field stretched out in front of her. No ways to her right, or left. Was that a sign? Should she follow the path back?
The wind kept pushing her forward. She closed her eyes. If she had wings she’d just fly away. Away and away. Wherever the wind blows. But never back.
She opened her eyes again and gave in to the wind. How hard this may be, she’d make her own way. She’d not hold herself back any longer.

Why did he do that?

“Girls, are you around? I need to talk.” I looked at the message on my phone. It was twenty minutes old. With relief I noticed that there were more missed messages. So she had received answer already. But it was about time that I joined the conversation. I had a feeling that something was absolutely wrong with Haley. And I had a guess what it could be.
I opened the first message and went to the start of the conversation. Jen had answered Haley only five minutes ago. I didn’t miss much. They had started the conversation with the usual phrases and therefor Jen had only asked what was wrong with Haley. I saw that Haley was typing in her next message. If I said hi now she’d most probably delete the message to greet me and we’d have to ask her again. So I waited.
“It’s Victor. I don’t know what to do with him. I’m so mad at him I could cry.” I knew it! It was always Victor. I was weirdly annoyed with him by now. Not because I heard too much of him lately, but because he treated my friend not the way she deserved to be treated. I was on the best way to hate that guy I had never met. “What did he do?” I asked and added the obligatory greetings. “Hi Jacky, good to have you here. Yeah Haley, what did he do this time?” Jen must have been as annoyed as I was. I knew that she never really trusted him in the first place. The moment Haley had mentioned him first she seemed to hold back her negative feelings towards him. Haley had been so over the moon that she never noticed and now it didn’t bother her. “I told you that there is this new play that made us work together. And one of the actresses, Tanja, was trying on a dress. I was making sure that there were no changes needed. Victor was supposed to try his costume on right after.” she said. “I bet he came too early, did he?” I asked her. “He did.” She answered. I was waiting for more and Jen seemed to do the same. “He just came in and stared at Tanja. Then he told her how beautiful looking she was in that dress, but he’d like it better if she wasn’t wearing it.” “He said that right in front of you?” I asked in disbelieve. “He’s such an idiot.” Was all Jen said. “And that’s not even all.” “It’s not? What else happened?” I had asked myself the same question. “Well as you can imagine I was quite mad, but I didn’t want to make a scene or anything. So I just told time that it wasn’t yet his turn and he should wait outside. Instead he just said “I bet it doesn’t bother Tanja. Does it?” and he started undressing.” “He did not!” said Jen. “He did! I swear I could’ve thrown something at him.” “I would have.” “And how did he say it?” I asked Haley. “What you mean how did he say it? It doesn’t matter. We all know him, we know why he did that. And he fucking undressed in front of that Tanja girl, only to make Haley go mad.” “Well they’re actors. I’d say it’s not that unusual for them to get changed while somebody is watching. And most of them anyway have less problems with showing their bodies. So it might have meant nothing to him.” I answered her. “Well there’s a truth about that. So what did he say it like, Haley? By the way hi girls.” said Annie. Perfect timing. United forces against the bad guy.
“He was having this stupid grin on his face. And he winked at her. But before he started undressing he gave me this look. I felt so bad and I couldn’t even have told you why. I mean why was he doing that anyway? Just to hurt me?” This was one of the hardest moments in our friendship. The moments you know your friends are feeling bad and you just want to hug them, but you can’t because they’re miles away.
“I’m sorry honey. And I know I’m repeating myself, but maybe you should leave him.” “Yes Haley, just leave him. He’s no good for you.” agreed Jen. “Annie and Jen are right, he hurts you on purpose. That’s not what a relationship should be like.”
“What do you even know about relationships, Jacky!” Haley told me. That hit home.

How about a bit more chivalry?

What is chivalry? The average person would probably tell you that it’s when a man opens the door for a woman, or walks her home. Simply a man being a so called gentleman.
Now if you look the word up in dictionaries you will find it in one way or the other defined as the sum of qualities expected by knights of the Middle Age, such as honour, courtesy, bravery, loyalty, courage, readiness to help the weak, justice, generosity and gallantry. The gallantry especially towards women. And all these words have definitions of their own.
Honour – honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions. Loyalty – faithfulness towards commitments or obligations. Generosity – readiness to give, but also the freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.
No matter which word you take, they’re all quite big. There was a lot asked of a knight. And there’s still a lot asked of men, if we want them to be chivalrous.
But why is it only asked of men? Aren’t these the kind of values that we would like to see in anybody?
If you search for quotes about chivalry you find more or less two sorts. The ones that say chivalry is dead and the ones that wish for more chivalry, which in a way states that they so far can’t find any. Does that mean chivalry is really dead? Maybe it’s just me being romantic, but I don’t think so. I think we are only looking for the wrong kind of chivalry.
Gallantry is amongst other things defined as polite attention or respect given by men to women. Sounds a lot like the average expectation of what chivalrous behaviour should look like. But it’s by definition only a part of chivalry. And then again gallantry also means courageous and noble-minded behaviour. I like the second definition better. Not because I think a man shouldn’t respect a woman and treat her politely. No, not at all. But I think it’s wrong that it is only expected of men. Women should respect and treat men politely all the same. In my opinion chivalry as such should as well be expected of women.
We are no longer living in The Middle Ages. This is a new time. A time we are fighting for equality. And equality has got no limits! A woman’s hopes of equality shouldn’t be questioned because she asks for chivalry. As long as she is willing to be chivalrous herself. Being chivalrous doesn’t make a woman less female, it only makes her a better person. Being chivalrous makes everybody a better person. You just need to find the knight within yourself.
Today’s chivalrous people are the new knights. Fighting for a better world. Together. Male and female.

Someone new

She sat on the edge of her bed. A glimpse behind her told her that he was deep asleep. She’d rather see him leave. She should’ve told him. He should’ve known. But he was still here anyway. Amelia thought about waking him up. Instead she got up, grabbed some clothes that were laying on the floor and left the room. She entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She didn’t want him to come in, in case he woke up. She stepped into the shower cabin and turned the water on. It made her shiver at first, but from the look on her face it could’ve been just perfect. The water turned warmer and warmer till it nearly burned her skin. Amelia stood there, motionless, hugging herself. She wanted to wash herself. Feel clean again. But now she couldn’t make her body work. Amelia closed her eyes and let the water fall down on her face. She counted to twenty, then she started to wash herself. She scrubbed herself excessively until the water turned cold again. Wrapped up in a towel she sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the door. Her wet hair was dripping. Some of the drops ran down her neck. She concentrated on the feeling of it. That was easier. Easier than to think about other things. One drop. Then another. They tickled her. But she liked that. A soft and gentle touch.
He hadn’t touched her that gentle. But she had liked it anyway. She had enjoyed being with him. It felt good. He felt good. Now it was gone. The magic of his warm eyes was gone. Maybe it would come back when he woke up and opened them, but she didn’t really think so. The magic never came back.
She wanted him to leave. She never wanted to look into those eyes again. Eyes so much softer than the rest of him. A look so gentle a touch could never be compared to. Amelia had gone lost in them the first time she laid eyes on him. And then she got lost in the feeling. First his eyes, than the feeling and now – emptiness.
She was alone, even with him still laying in her bed. It made it worse. He had to leave. Or she’d leave until he finally did. Maybe she could find other warm eyes. Or a warm touch. Get the feeling back. And forget, even if it was just for a moment. She felt like a junkie. Always looking for the next high. Always on the hunt. And she was damn good at hunting.
She heard the front door being shut. So he was gone. Finally.
Tears kept crawling down her face. Amelia couldn’t stop them. They burned her skin. She whipped them away , full of anger. Why was she crying? “Stupid girl. He means nothing to you. And you mean nothing to him. You wanted him to leave.” But the tears kept falling. Would they ever stop?
She got up and got dressed. The distraction helped. The tears got less. She left the bathroom and headed towards her bedroom when she heard a sound. She held on for a moment and listened, then she went into the living room instead.
“I thought you left. I heard the front door.” she said. He sat on the sofa and looked up when she spoke. He scratched his head. “Hm yeah … I meant to leave, but then I thought I should check if you’re okay. Are you?” “Yes, yes I am.” “You don’t look like you are. Did you cry Amelia?” he asked her. There was probably no way she could deny it. She sat on the sofa beside him and hugged her knees. After a while she looked at him. Not sure whether to say something or not. His eyes met hers. Warm eyes.
Now she felt ashamed for not knowing his name.

Creatures of the night

Leon spotted Vivian in the darkness ahead of him. She was easier to hear than to see. Viv wasn’t known for being very quiet. She wasn’t alone. As always. He was used to that. But today Leon had expected something else. “Leon!” she shouted and raised the bottle in her hand. She stood on top of a little wall. Her high-heels careless in the grass, her feet naked and frozen red. Her dress was way too short for such a chilly night and she also didn’t bring a jacket. The only thing keeping her warm was the alcohol. Leon had no illusions, she must have had plenty already. And the others seemed to do their best to keep up with her. He knew Lisa and Christy by sight. He had never seen the other girl sitting on the wall with them. Leon nodded in their direction. The strange girl didn’t so much as look at him. Among the boys he couldn’t find any familiar faces. And they didn’t look like the kind of people he actually wanted to know.
“Come here Leon.” Vivian shouted and waved him closer. She jumped right into his arms, laughing. “This, guys, is my best friend in the whole wide world. I swear, he’s the best!” she said. The others ignored her words and kept on talking to each other in low voices. “Here, have a drink.” Vivian offered him the bottle. Leon shook his head. He had a feeling it was better to stay sober.
“Can we go now?” one of the guys asked annoyed. “Of course! Let’s go!” Viv said overexcited. She led the group on, dragging Leon behind her. “Where are we going?” he asked, wondering whether she would take his jacket if he offered it. He figured out that it wasn’t very likely. She never did. “I haven’t got a clue. Does it matter?” “That you haven’t got a clue?” “No stupid, where we are going.” “Well I thought you knew, cause you’re in front of everybody.” “We just keep going till we find a good place to party. That’s all I know.” Leon didn’t know how to answer on that. The party usually was where Viv was, so there wasn’t really need to search for one. And the way the other guys looked they were more likely up to crash a party.
They kept on walking and drinking. At some places they stopped and stayed for a little while. But they all seemed to get bored of the places as fast as they got bored of the people there. Leon met a lot of his and Vivs friends and would’ve loved to stay with them, but Viv wanted to leave and so he went with her. He would never leave her alone with those people. The more time he spent with them the less he liked them. And the less he understood why Viv wanted to be with them.
Leon was sure that they were just getting ready to start a fight. He wasn’t afraid of them. They might be massive guys, but he wasn’t small either and he had the big advantage to be sober. The only thing that worried him was that Vivian might get hurt. It was better to leave them as soon as possible.
He fought his way through a crowd of strangers, but when he was only a few steps away from her he stopped. She was standing there with the one guy he disliked the most. He watched them with disbelieve. Did he really just see this? He ran over to them and pushed the guy away from her. “Hey man, what’s wrong with you?” he complained. “What did you put in her drink?” “What are you talking about man? I didn’t put anything in her drink.” “What did you put in her drink?” Leon shouted at him. “Nothing!” “Leon?” asked Vivian uncertain. “Don’t drink that, Viv.” She looked wasted. He turned back at the huge guy in front of him and pointed his finger at him. “Stay away from her!” He told him. “Or what?” The other one grinned. “Don’t try me.” Leon stared at him, waiting for a reaction. Then he took Vivian’s hand. “Let’s go Viv.” But as he headed towards the door he saw the guy moving from the corner of his eye. He evaded the punch and pushed Vivian aside. He heard her scream, but couldn’t take care of her. He grabbed the guy by his shirt and hit him hard in the face. He let go of him and looked at what he had done. Blood was shooting out of his nose. Leon guessed that he broke his nose. That should keep him busy for the moment.
He turned around, searching for Vivian. Many people were looking at him, but nobody said a word. He found her on the floor. Some girls kneeling next to her. “Are you ok?” Leon asked her. She nodded. He looked at her for some time, uncertain what to do. Then he picked her up and carried her outside. It was time for her to go home.
He walked and walked until he found himself in front of her house. He hadn’t even realized how heavy she was until then, because his thoughts had been running. He put her down and got the front door key out of its hiding place. He opened the door for her and lead her inside.
Leon stood in the door and tried to find the right words to break the silence. Then he said the only thing he could think of. “Why?” he asked her.
She gave him a sad look. “What else is there left?”


A man like Mario

„I just want a man like Mario.“ said Haley. I couldn’t exactly remember how we got there, but it was no news to me that Haley fancied Mario. We started talking about our team and the player, then went on to player we lost to different teams and here we are again talking about the Ex-Bayern- Beau Mario Gomez. His move to Fiorentina seems to be ages ago and still you find enough fans moaning about it as if it just happened. Mostly female fans. And the stories ranked around his move make it an even better topic to keep alive.
I’ve heard of lots of fans that follow him and his new team now to see how he was doing. Again, mostly female fans. Haley was one of them. As far as I could tell she tried to see him play as often as she could.
“But you don’t even know him.” I told her. “But look at him! He’s so handsome and all.” “I’ve heard he’s arrogant. Actually I heard that a lot. I can’t tell, I haven’t met him. But what if it’s true?” “Then he’s at least nice to look at.” Haley laughed. “Ah come on, you can’t be serious.” “Why not?” For a second I asked myself the same question. Why not? Because society tells us personality should always be worth more than looks? Because of something people say and then don’t give a shit about it? It is her personal decision and nobody should question it. But it bothered me. It didn’t feel right and I could at least give her my reasons. Not that they were very original …
“What do you want with a man with good looks, but a shitty personality?” “Great looks.” she said. “What if he is really, really stupid? Wouldn’t that annoy you?” “Probably yes.” She laughed again.
“I’d be so annoyed. Couldn’t deal with a stupid man. Hi girls!” said Jen all of a sudden. I sent the message I had just finished. “What if he treats you badly? Could his looks make that up?” Then I added: “Jen! You are there. How are you today?” Haley showed a similar reaction. “Hi Jen, nice to see you. How are you doing?” Her next message was an answer on my previous question. “And Jacky, I guess I’d be a little annoyed.” “I’m with Jacky looks can’t make up a bad personality. You need a good combination of both. And I’m doing fine. Just came back home.” “Thanks Jen! By the way I don’t even think he is that good looking.” “WHAT?” Haley’s reaction was pure shock. “He looks alright. Doesn’t hurt to look at him, but handsome? Nah, not really.” “You are joking, aren’t you?” asked me Haley. Jen was only laughing. “No I’m serious.” “What’s wrong with you? How can you not … I mean he’s beautiful.” “Not everybody can fancy him, Haley.” Jen said. “That’s true.” “And I’m one of those who doesn’t” I said. “I’m really shocked right now.” “No need to be, love.” “Yeah, now you know that you don’t have to fear Jacky stealing him from you Haley.” We all laughed. “He’s all yours.” I told Haley. “Hey what about me?” asked Jen. “Do you fancy him too, Jen?” asked Haley. And at the same time I asked: “Do you want him?” “Naaaaa, not really. Besides if his personality is shit his looks don’t matter anyway.” “Sounds like he is all yours Haley.” She laughed. “Great.” “So you can deal with a bad personality?” asked Jen. “To be honest, no. I want a good guy. But with the right looks. So a man who looks like Mario and is kind and all.” “I’m glad to hear this matters to you. And could still be that Mario actually is beautiful on the inside.” I said. “Yeah you are right.” “And if not …. Well, looks are enough for a one-night stand.”


The Fresh Prince


„Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you ..” how I became friends with the Fresh Prince of Nowhereland.

If you followed my posts lately you might have read about my best friend Penny and because I’m absolutely fortunate I got another best friend: Will! The Fresh Prince.
Will and Penny are friends as well. They know each other longer than they know me. They both went to school together with my brother. I got to know Will, because he was friends with my brother. They used to hang out quite often, but we never really talked. He was just that guy who used to come by. When I changed school I found myself on the bus with Will every morning. But we were a large group and so we knew each other, but still didn’t know each other at all.
What I could tell about Will at that time was that he was different from anybody I knew. Being around him always meant fun. He could joke around in the most charming way. And then again he was simply fresh.
To be a fresh prince you obviously need to be fresh. Will Smith is the cheekiness in person. He’s witty and always has a funny line in store. Will simply says whatever he wants. But with all his cheekiness nobody every feels offended by him. In the end you know exactly that he’s only joking. He is a tease, but usually knows when to stop. Nobody is safe from him. And in return he can take the banter as well. But why is he a prince? It’s simple. Because of his charming nature. There’s something about him, something different, something special, something superior. The masses come together to make him their prince.
And the masses came together. Will is the uncrowned prince of Nowhereland. He takes it with the natural gratitude of a royal. And his people don’t even realise they gave him a position of honor.
There’s always talk and stories about him, but he couldn’t care less. Sometimes the stories are self-created. A result of one of his jokes. He can laugh about all the rumors, but in case one should bother him, well as a prince he can always count on a bunch of people fighting for him.  Then again he is well capable of fighting his own wars and too willing to fight for his loved ones as well. He would always back up the weak and never fear anybody, or anything.
Who wouldn’t want a best friend like that? Lucky me made best friends with the coolest guy on earth. Well at least in Nowhereland.
At this point you must think that I stole my brothers friend. But that’s wrong. My brother and Will barely ever saw each other when we became close friends. And to be fair we simply made the better match. We are just as crazy as the other one.
Our friendship started the moment Joey brought Will to our unicycle training. Exactly Will is the one friend I mentioned in Joey’s story. Our friendship is based on our love for unicycles. We now had something that united us. It brought us together every more often. And then before I even knew what was going on we were best friends. We saw each other every single day. Will was the first person I talked to in the morning. Or better said the first person, that was allowed to talk to me. We saw each other on every single day. We had the greatest of time together. If I think of my teenagedays there’s always Will and Joey on my mind. I spent more time with them then with anybody else. Not even Penny. It was always the three of us. Hanging out. Doing the crazy, funny stuff that we do. We had the greatest of times.
I can’t express how grateful I am for his friendship. How dearly I love him. And how much he means to me. I couldn’t ask for a more honest, more caring and more loyal friend. I feel more myself when I’m with him and I hope he will always remain as my best friend to remind me of who I am.
As soon as he reads this he will probably send me a message with some witty line. And I will laugh and for once tell him how much I love him.
I miss him!


Isabella was laying on her bed. Staring at the ceiling. Motionless. She didn’t feel like getting up. But also not like sleeping. What would the sleep bring her anyway? Actually she didn’t feel like doing anything at all. She should get up and do something. Just anything. But then again no. First of all she didn’t know what to do and second even if she wanted to get up she didn’t feel like she could go anywhere. She thought about raising her arm just to check if she still had control over her body. Nothing happened. Isabella laughed a silent and ironical laughter. “I can’t even control my body. How am I supposed to control my life?” It fitted too well. “But if I only really tried …. I could do it.” That thought made it only worse. She knew that if she only tried she could do anything she wanted. Isabella had always known that. So why didn’t she try? Why did she already fail at the attempt to try? Isabella could simply not understand herself.
She listened to the sounds in the house. So distant and so close at the same time. Life just inches away from her. She heard her mother calling for dinner. But from the sound of it the biggest part of the family was already surrounded. In a moment somebody would come and check on her. Ask her to come for dinner. As always she didn’t feel hungry at all. But she could at least sit at the table with her family. Or not. They would probably just stare at her. Or worse ask her questions. The questions she got no answers for. She would only end up ruining their good moods and making them worry. Right now she was just no good company. She was a burden.
Isabella closed her eyes when she heard steps coming closer. The door opened and she heard her mother whispering her name. She didn’t answer and concentrated on breathing regularly. Her mother touched her at her shoulder and whispered her name again. Then she sighed and left the room. Isabella fought tears. And lost the battle. Again she didn’t know why.
The sounds from the dinner table seemed even farer away than any sound before. There was her world and their world and she was losing contact.
Everything used to be so easy, so clear. She had always known what she wanted. She had always had a plan. But her plan failed her and she got lost in her own world.
How did she go from a little girl, planning to take over the world, to this? How could she go back to her own self? Could she even go back?
And then again did she still want to be that person? Maybe not.
She closed her eyes once more and tried to think of something else. Isabella needed a beautiful thought. A dream she had always dreamed. How wonderful life would be when all her wishes finally came true. No more stormy skies for her. Her personal paradise.