Once again I found myself spending hours and hours searching children’s heads for nits. It was the third time in half a year that one of the kids brought head lice home. By now I feel like an expert at spotting the disgusting little eggs.
Head lice are not a sign of uncleanliness. Anybody can get head lice, in fact they feel a lot more attracted to clean heads. Therefor having them is nothing to be ashamed of. But let me tell you they are some annoying little buggers.
They jump onto your head, bite you, drink your blood, lay their eggs and then they jump onto the next head. But within a week or two the eggs hatch and you’ve got a bunch of new head lice jumping around. The Nymphs become adults within one to two weeks, which means more nits. The longer it takes to detect there are head lice going round, the faster they spread. That’s why it’s so important to warn everyone in your social circle. Call schools, crèche, work … everyone. Their not knowing about it yet, does not necessarily mean that you are the source. It could be that simply nobody else has detected them yet, or that they were absolute dickheads for not warning anybody.
Alright, so now you have detected the nits and spread the word you have to get rid of them. Head lice treatment is quite easy to find. There are plenty of different ones and all chemists will promise a different one to be the very best and most effective. Just choose whatever, cause lets be real they all smell rank and can’t be trusted a hundred percent. You basically pour poison onto a child’s head (and/or your own) in hopes that it will kill all nits and lice. Nothing that smells pleasant will do the job. There also shouldn’t be any surprises to what it does to your hair. Most of the treatments have to be left in the hair for a certain time and then washed out. And damn it’s hard to get the stuff out of the hair. You’ll find yourself repeating the washing out part over and over again.
Followed by this comes the really hard part: Getting all the nits out of the hair. The instructions on the head lice treatment will usually tell you to comb the nits out. Yeah … as if! If you believe for one second that you can comb nits out you are a fucking idiot. Lice basically glue their eggs to your hair. The nits stick to the hair so well, that they can’t be combed out. You have to pull them out with your fingernails one by one. Sounds like a lot of work? It is! And because you can’t trust the treatments you really have to make sure to get all the nits out. So you’ll find yourself looking at every single hair of the person you are treating. Fun days when you are treating more than just one person.
And if you haven’t got somebody at hand to check your head you’ll spend all day paranoid and itchy, even if you’re all clean. To be fair you’ll spend the next couple of days itchy and paranoid, no matter what.
But I’ll tell you what the fucking most annoying thing about nits is: fucking other people! You can be the most thorough person at finding nits and taking them out, but if there is just one person in your social circle who doesn’t treat them properly they’ll be back. You’ll have to do it all over again. And if the others still aren’t doing their part, again. And again and again.
Getting rid of head lice is really a team work. So once a week take a peek.