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The Coach

The coach checked the big clock on the wall. It was time to get his team together. He turned on his seat and gestured his men to follow him. They rushed through the gym hall as to not disturb the ongoing game. He ushered them into the dressing room. His men had long changed, but it was the right place to have a private word with them. He could hear some of the guys joking around with each other. This was ok for now, but in only a short time he needed them fully concentrated. They seated themselves on the benches and looked at the coach. He waited till he was sure that he had everybody’s attention. Then he raised his voice. “Alright guys, this is the final. We have trained hard. You are faster and more agile. You are the better players. We deserve to be here and we deserve to win this game.” His team agreed with shouts and laughter. He went on with his speech by reminding them on the tactics and giving individual advice to some of the players. He checked the time again. “Let’s get outta here now and warm up.” The team slowly got up and left the room. The coach felt like shaking his head. He hoped they were only saving their energy for the match. In the gym hall they were greeted by cheers. A smile crept across his face. The support was on point.
There were still a couple of things he had to do before the game started. He rushed around, always observing his players with one eye. Everything seemed in order. The guys were running up and down on their half of the gym hall. Their opponents were warming up on the other side. The coach kept an eye on them too. Any information he could pass on to his team could win them the game.
The coach looked at the people on the benches. He needed somebody for the live stream. None of the people he would usually ask seemed to be around. No problem. He just needed someone. Anyone. And anyone was found. There wouldn’t be a qualified commentary, but at least he had found someone and the match could be found online. Back to more important things.
The time flew by and soon the teams were signalled to line up. Time for the final to begin. If only they could hurry up a little. This little opening ceremony seemed to be going on forever.
Finally the referee blew his whistle and the players were running. But things were not going good for his team. A bad start. His men didn’t look too good. He shouted instructions at them. They had to get their heads in the game. And quick! What on earth were they doing? Nothing was going right. They were better than that. Come on … concentrate, concentrate, concentrate.
It was no good he had to call for a time-out. The team huddled around him. He had no way of telling whether his words reached any of his men. He could only hope.
The time-out was over and his men were running again. Come on now, guys! But soon he found himself shouting and walking up and down the sideline again. One missed chance after the other. This was not how you could win a final. More than once he wished he could put on a shirt and play himself.
And just as he was about to give up hope his team seemed to be finding into the game. Yes, they were getting there. Push now. A bit more effort. Come on guys. You can do it. This was the team he had been training them to be.
By the time the referee blew the halftime whistle it was a completely different game. Everything was open. Time to get them all together again. Time for another talk. Time for another speech. If they continued the way they had finished they could win this game. They just had to keep their heads in the game and keep pushing. His team listened carefully to every word he said, they refreshed themselves, took last deep breathes and then they were running again. His team was fighting, but so were their opponents. The coach was in constant conversation with his team. Shouting instructions. Walking up and down. Come on now. Push. Push. Fight.
The referee blew the final whistle. Game over. The coach smiled as he high-fived his players.


Heading to the same place

She rose early that day. Everybody else was still asleep and the house lay quiet. She could’ve done with a couple of hours more sleep, but that was not an option and then again she was glad to end this constant wandering between awake and asleep.
The house was still sleeping when she closed the door behind herself and stepped into the darkness. It was raining. Of course it was. The streets were empty. Barely a soul was up. She hurried her way down to the bus stop. Time was not an issue, but at least she’d be protected from the rain. The bus pulled over the second she arrived at the stop. She would’ve missed it if she hadn’t hurried. Thanks to the rain after all.
“Good morning! 2,70 please.” she greeted the driver. She was surprised how happy she sounded. The driver gave her a friendly smile and the ticket. She took the first seat she could find and they rushed through the early morning.
“It’s way too early.” She thought, only to remember that there had been a time when she would be on the bus even earlier than this. A different time. A different place. A different destination.
But where she was heading would bring her back to the times long past.
The pounding rain against her window and the squeaking of the wipes brought her back to where she was. “Poor driver, he’ll have to listen to this all day long. It would drive me insane.” she thought. She looked around. The bus was surprisingly full now. All on their way to work. Most seemed to know each other by sight. A little bus gang of early workers. And they talked. And talked. And they wouldn’t stop. She’d never liked talking at this time of the day. But obviously she was the only one on this bus, who thought that way.
The lights flashing by carried her off again. Did the green of the traffic light always look so blue? And the street lights looked rather orange. She’d seen that before. But she couldn’t remember if those lights were meant to look that way.
What did she say? What was the next stop? All of a sudden she realised that she had no clue where exactly she was. Shit! What time was it? No, she couldn’t be there yet.
Two stops later she finally had to get off. And then she hurried through the streets again. On her way to the next bus. She had never seen town this empty. There had always been a stream of people carving their way through the city. Today it seemed dead to her. “It’s the time.” she reminded herself. Soon town would be as alive as ever before.
Then she found herself waiting again. In the rain. Getting wetter and wetter with every single minute.
And she wasn’t alone. More and more people joined her at the bus stop. Most were quiet, but then a group of young people came. They talked to each other excitedly. With a smile she recognised their language. They would all be on the same flight. They were all trying to catch the same plane. Heading to the same place.
She looked around. In fact all those people were heading to the same place.
A place called home.


She slowly opened her eyes. Where was she? How did she get here? She was confused and for this very short moment her world was still whole. Then her memory came back. Hit her hard. Stole her breath. A voice inside of her was screaming. Shrill and high and painful. It was her own.
But no sound came over her lips. She was numb. That was due to the drugs running through her vains. She remembered that they had wanted her to sleep. She fought them, but had no chance to stop them. They should’ve made her sleep forever at least.
She stared at the ceiling and into the light right above her. There was nothing interesting about it, but she didn’t want to see the rest of the room. She didn’t want to see anything at all. Her eyes were dry and sore. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. The drugs wouldn’t let her.
She should be able to cry. She should be able to scream and shout. They stole her that much. For her own safety. That’s what they repeated over and over again while they fought her down and gave her the injection. The drug couldn’t stop the feelings though.
That was ok. That was right. She would hate herself for not feeling the way she did. Even if it was not by choice.
The light flickered in front of her eyes. It reminded her of some other light she had seen that day. The sun reflected in the pool. Her heart stopped for a second and she fell into pieces once again. She shook her head as if to get the picture out of her head. The shrill voice screaming in her head once more. She would never forget this picture. It was burned into the back of her mind. And right now it was the most present part of her brain. It would haunt her for the rest of her life. And break her heart anew every single time. She deserved that. It was her fault. She knew it was. And Leah was gone.
A tear rolled down her face. Finally. And a sob came rolling up her throat. More and more tears came rolling down her face. She gave herself willingly to the tears and sobs until she cried hysterically. Something started beeping next to her and a woman came hurrying inside her room. The woman said something, but she couldn’t understand her. And she didn’t want to. The woman grabbed her face, looked deep into her eyes and said something else in her foreign tongue. She tried to free herself and look away, but the woman held her tighter. She cried even louder than she had before. Her real voice screaming along to the voice in her head.
A second voice joined the continuous words of the woman. A familiar voice. “Susan, can you hear me?” he asked. She turned her head to the familiar voice. Seeing him only made her feel worse. It was his fault too. “You have to calm down.” No! No! She could not. She would not. It was not right. She needed to scream and shout. And he should be doing the same. Why wasn’t he? How could he be so calm? She turned away, no longer able to stand the sight of him. “Susan, you have to calm down, or they will have to give you something.” He said. “No.” she pleaded between her sobs. They couldn’t do that to her. She didn’t want them to. They couldn’t. She tried to get out of her bed, but they held her back. More people came rushing in. She fought them, hysterically crying out “no” over and over again. It had been the same when they had dragged her away from the pool.
The pushed her down on her bed and strapped her arms to it. They did the same with her legs after she started kicking them. With wide eyes she watched the doctor putting the needle in her arms. For a last time she screamed “No.” as she felt the drug getting into her system. “I don’t want this!” she thought. “I want my child!” she thought. “I want her back!”

A newage romance

Isn’t it funny how we expect love to be waiting for us just around the corner, but as soon as it does we become all confused and surprised? But that’s today’s idea of romance. Expect the unexpected. It’s interesting how that changed, isn’t it? Meeting somebody by pure chance used to be rather boring, if you couldn’t tell a sheer endless story leading to the meeting itself. There had to be something special about place and occasion. Today we like to believe that love is probably just down the street waiting for the right time to reveal itself. That we could literally run into our partner-to-be at any time. Fate would just lead our ways. Fate has been and will always be a constant part of any romantic idea. Believing that there is somebody meant for us and that a higher power will bring us together is what keeps us going in the end.
Quinn left the house with a smile on her face. It was a good day. The sun was shining as warm and bright as it hadn’t done for a long time. This was the beginning of spring. It was her most favourite day of the year. Everybody seemed just a little happier. Even Mo on her side seemed happier. But that was probably just something she told herself. Mo was a dog, he was always happy when they went for a walk. Her steps led her to the beach. She just couldn’t go anywhere else. Not today. The sea was simply too tempting. Her smile got even brighter when she finally got sight of it. She let go of Mo and he ran straight into the water. The cold not bothering him at all. Advantages of being a dog.
They walked along the beach together. Mo never far from the water and always pleased to meet people and other dogs. After about an hour of walking Quinn found the perfect place. Protected from the wind, sunny and a good view on the sea. She sat down in the sand. Legs crossed and with music in her ears she watched Mo running around. From time to time she gave people a nod and a smile when their curious looks remained long enough on her. Other times she called Mo close, when she thought that people might be afraid of him. Those were usually easy to spot. They often slowed down, but unlike the dog-lovers, who slowed down to greet the dog, somebody who was afraid would look around nervously for help.
The time passed by, but Quinn had totally lost track of it. What mattered it anyway? Her thoughts had drifted far, far away. To a place where nothing and nobody could reach her. She saw, felt and heard, but nothing reached her. It took her a while to realise that she was watching a young man playing with Mo. She took the earphones out of her ears. It helped her to fully comprehend the situation. The young man must have been around her age. And he had a dog with him himself. A little one. But the man’s attention was occupied by Mo. A smile crept on Quinn’s face. She was weirdly fascinated by this stranger. Should she go and talk to him? While she tried to find an answer on this he looked up. She couldn’t tell whether he was looking at her, or not, but a big smile was on his face. Quinn stopped thinking and got up. Her feet moved towards him and a little voice in her head was calling “What are you doing? What are you doing?”. The voice was shut down by his sudden question. “Is this your dog?” “Yes, that’s Mo.” she answered him. “He’s absolutely gorgeous.” Quinn laughed. “True. But so is your dog.” “Yeah, but Jack is more interested in the ball than me. Your Mo is just so friendly.” “He likes you.” “We are buddies already, aren’t we Mo?” They both laughed. “I got bad news for you.” He said. “Mo is coming home with me.” “Haha, no chance.” “Ahhhh come on. I know he’d love to.” “Don’t make me fight you.” She said with a wink. “Alright, ok.” And after a little break he said. “Are you going home?” She thought about that for a moment. “No, I’ll walk a bit more along the beach.” “This way?” he asked and pointed into a direction. Quinn nodded. “Then let’s go.” he said. “I’m Michael, by the way.” “Nice to meet you. I’m Quinn.” They shook hands and went on together.

A man of easy smiles

I was standing around with two friends, waiting. Well, one friend. I had only met the other girl once. But in our situation nearly everybody was called a friend. I disliked that. Melanie was nice and had potential, but at this point I refused to see her as my friend. None of the people we were waiting for was a friend of mine. Melanie and Andrea said they were their friends, but in my eyes the greater part was merely more to them than Melanie was to me and some were total strangers. I didn’t know what to expect of them, or whether it was better not to expect anything at all and I was rather bored of waiting for them. Why couldn’t they be on time? Being late had always annoyed me.
It was a fresh, but sunny morning. A promising start of day. Not for the first time I asked myself if I shouldn’t have stayed at home. I would’ve loved to stretch out in the sun with a good book. But that was what I always did. Andrea had asked me again and again to join them at this and that and it had always ended with the result of me not being there. I had given her the best reason to stop inviting me, but so far she hadn’t. Some part of me was afraid she would. Therefor I was here. And to prove to myself that I wasn’t as antisocial as I made people think I was.
Andrea was moving around impatiently. She wasn’t used to wait for others. It was always her people had to wait for. Then finally they seemed to have discovered someone in the crowd. The girls welcomed him with delight. And he greeted me as cheerful as the other two and seemed not to care that we hadn’t met before. Stunned I introduced myself as to remind him that we were unfamiliar with each other. The stranger gave me a big smile and told me his name was Charlie.
Something about Charlie captured my attention even after the other ones arrived. I only had met one other person before and unfortunately it was someone I hadn’t liked too much at first meeting. I couldn’t be annoyed by her appearance for too long, cause my mind was busy figuring out Charlie. His person seemed to be liked by everybody. No other person rejoiced anybody as much as he did. Shortly after departing from our place of meeting I got the chance to have a little chat with him. And even though our talk was nothing more than billions of other first talks I had had before, I felt some sincere interest in my personality.
I spent a good quantity of the day observing my companions. Stranger or none stranger. But Charlie was by far the most interesting individual of the group. I could tell that he was somewhat older than myself and most of the others. But then again a certain youth and energy was surrounding him. I questioned my idea of his age over and over again. It wasn’t really of matter, but I was annoyed that I couldn’t figure it out without asking him.
It took me all day to finally realis what made me like him in an instant. We were sitting in a pub and over my beer I was looking at Charlie, who sat on the opposite of me. He caught my look and gave me a smile. A beautiful smile. Honest and warm. That was it! His smile! It was different from all the other smiles. He was smiling a lot I realized. Always at the right time. I knew a lot of people who were full of smiles. But their smiles weren’t as honest as his. His eyes lighted up when he smiled to go back to a thoughtful melancholy as soon as the smile faded. This melancholy captured me. Where did it come from? Had it been there all day? I remembered at least one moment I had seen it. An expression that promised personality. There was more about Charlie than his easy but charming smiles.

Friends with benefits

First time I heard about this was on „One Tree Hill“. When the new kid in town, Felix tried to convince Brooke that this is the best form of relationship. No stress, just the advantages of a friendship and casual sex. It’s a drama series so of course this never had the potential to work out.
But what about real life? Can two friends casually have sex without ruining their friendship and cause a lot of drama?


The difficulty after all lays in not falling for the other one. It’s a friend and what do you choose your friends for? Right, personality! You’d never be friends with somebody you can’t stand. In a true friendship you’d describe the other one with lots of positive attributes Of course you could also come up with something that annoys you, but it can’t be that bothering cause you are still willing to look over it. That’s just what friendship is about. So if you experience this new side on your friend, doesn’t that make you look differently on her/him? The physical aspects adds up to the already existing boundary and you may start thinking that your friend might be boyfriend/girlfriend material. Emotional and physical match. If both of you think so, well then … congrats, you’ve made it to another form of relationship. Make it exclusive.
If only one fell for the other – trouble! Stop having sex right away! Cause it’s not making love and one of you can’t see the difference anymore. The longer you keep going, the more drama in the end.
Project failed – try to limit the damage.
Some distance could be good for both of you. In some cases it can be a long way to get back to where you started and in others you will never be able to deal with each other like you did before.
As a good advice: Never try this with best friend!
Do you want to risk losing your best friend? I bet not. If you want to get physical with your best friend you either way don’t mind ruining the friendship and therefor you can’t really be best friends, cause you’d care a lot more, or you already have feelings for that person.
Completely wrong intention for not creating drama.


The intentions are a big question anyways. Why adding the benefits to the friendship? Or the friendship to the benefits?
One could state that sex releases stress and generally makes you feel better. And let’s all admit it, sometimes you just need it. In that case you could also have a one night stand. So why choosing friends with benefits over one night stands? It’s for the safety. What can a friend give you that a stranger never will? Of course it’s the safety! You trust friends and can let go easily. And it’s not just that you don’t have to be afraid of diseases, you also feel mentally safe.
But that’s not the only advantage. You have somebody you can call right the moment you feel like and don’t have to spend your time on the hunt with no guarantee that you won’t go home alone.

But girls beware people tend to call you sluts when you have sex without being in an official romantic relationship. And guys you might not be openly called a slut, but you’ll also be judged. Especially by girls.
People always judge and as you choose what to do with your life you can also choose not to care what others think. You’re doing this for fun, don’t you? Because you want to enjoy life with all its aspects. And you want this special aspect now, not wait till you found that special someone. Don’t let anybody put you down because of what you claim for. As long as it feels good, keep going.
Don’t lie to yourself about your intention. If you’re trying to compensate something, it will most probably only feel good for a short moment. Sleeping with a friend is not the solution and also not fair to your friend.

I think friends with benefits is a constellation that can work out, but not for everybody. Be sure whether you can differ between sex and love. Even through they usually go hand in hand they are not one and the same. Also know when it’s time to stop. This is not a permanent arrangement. As soon as one of you meets a special someone it’s time to have a benefits free friendship again.

Well for Felix and Brooke it didn’t work out because Felix was in love with her right from the beginning. So be aware of the little signs it might save your friendship in the end, or make you a happy couple.

Mansion owner in the friendzone

Mansion owner in the friendzone
It seems to be a common phenomenon nowadays – the friendzone. It’s no visual zone that you could just walk into. It’s more like a status. The status of a friend who would love to become romantic, but just can’t get a shot.

I recently asked a friend: “Have you ever been friendzoned?” “I own a mansion in the friendzone.” And as I asked more friends I figured out that everybody has been there already. Sometimes it has been a serious crush and therefor very hurtful and sometimes it has been like: “Ok then, no sex for me.”

But all these friends had one thing in common: they were all male. Are girls never friendzoned? And if yes, why? So again I had to bother some of my friends. None of my female friends has ever been there, but all of them admitted they had put a guy there.
“All girls do this.” Well that’s not an excuse to hurt somebody’s feelings. But is there even one? Maybe women are cruel and like playing with men. I mean, they know exactly what they are doing. Women seem to have a natural sense for knowing they’re being liked. Wouldn’t be that hard for them to step up and say: “Listen, you’re a great person, but I don’t feel for you that way.”
But just like men women like being admired and in some cases the only reason they don’t say anything is because they can’t say no.
“I don’t wanna hurt them by saying no.” One of the girls told me. Ehrm … seriously this way the pain is only growing bigger. First you’re maybe just a pretty face, but as a friend you become a personality. Thousands of aspects to fall in love with. Sure there’s still a chance she falls for your personality, but the longer it takes the more obvious it becomes this will never happen.

But in no war aren’t men realizing they are in the friendzone. They know exactly what status they have with a girl. And if not there are still all the dudes telling him. In several cases the man rather takes all his friend’s jokes and all the caused pain than giving up his hopes. Only because there has never been a clear signal that she is not interested. Besides the point that she’s not dating you.
No girl can ever be that awesome as to run after her over and over again. “Yes, she can!” you say? Dude, you’re so deep in the friendzone.
If she can’t appreciate the person you are she is definitely not the girl you want to be with.

So there is still the possibility that you are only after that girl because you know she doesn’t want you. Hunting a girl – some special sort of entertainment. Ask yourself if you are honestly interested in the girl as a person. If not? Well then stop the hunting! Take the rejection as a man and go your own ways. You are only wasting your time on her and if the unbelievable thing happens that you finally get a shot at hers you couldn’t even call it payback when you break her heart. Let’s be honest you were never truly interested. How bad could she have hurt you? The rejection would only be a little scratch on your pride, but you playing with her will drive her right on into insecurity.

As I was discussing this with my friends I started wondering if this was a new phenomenon, or if we had only found a name for it. I only saw one way to find out: ask the previous generation. My mum, like everybody else, first needed an explanation and then she gave me a meaningful smile. No answer given. But I remembered a story she once told me and I realized – my mother already friendzoned a guy in primary school. Poor little fella. And my grandma? Not any better! She had two guys at the same time in the friendzone and they united and planned to beat up my grandpa when he showed up. My grandma was able to stop them before they reached my grandpa.

Which leads me back to a major question: Why are women even able to put a man into the friendzone? And I don’t mean why they are able to be so cruel. I mean what brings them in the position to do so. I think it’s the fact that men don’t force women to say yes or no. Either way they are afraid to be honest about their feelings, or they know deep inside that she’d say no.
But keep in mind guys maybe the only reason you’re in the friendzone is because she is one of those rare girls who are too blind to see. And in the end it’s men who give women the power to friendzone.

So girls, stop keeping guys in the friendzone. You are not helping or protecting him.
And boys …. Just move out of these mansions. They are not as comfortable as they seem.